Potty Talk

and some of you are going to think what is wrong with that girl?

My SIL makes the world’s best cookies. They have butterscotch chips and, I think, oatmeal? Regardless, I love them, love them, love them. I don’t know what’s in them because, if I knew, then I WOULD BAKE THEM. And eat them. And I am trying to fit back into my jeans so…it shall remain a mystery.

Monkey had one of these cookies and he decided he didn’t like it. He did what he always does which is to take it out of his mouth and throw it in the garbage. Good job, son!

The problem was…he threw it in the garbage can in the bathroom. SO, every time I opened up that garbage can my heart stopped because, well, do you know what mostly chewed oatmeal cookies look like when they’re placed just so on top of tissues in the garbage can directly next to the toilet???

Those of you who survived (or are currently smack in the middle of) that phase between the kid learning to take his/her diaper off and the kid learning to cwap on the pot and ONLY on the pot know how I felt those three days, repeatedly on the verge of screeching, “WHERE IS MONKEY?!?!?” and “DID HE WASH HIS FRIGGING HANDS?!?”

The rest of you…just be happy, very, very happy you don’t get it 😉

I’m having serious writer’s block these days. Everything I pound out takes three times longer than it should, it’s very frustrating. It’s so bad at the moment that I’m even having trouble writing facebook status updates. Now, I don’t care who you are, that’s just pitiful!

In lieu of anything to say, I decided to add a new category to the blog. I get quite a few search hits of people asking about one particular topic and it invariably comes up when FX parents gather, so I decided I’d make it a little easier to locate the info here. If you look over in the sidebar you’ll see a drop-down for “Categories.” Potty Talk is the newest. I know it’s a struggle for all of us who are dealing with Fragile X, I hope some of what we did and learned will be helpful for others who are still in the potty training trenches.

In my opinion there is one thing that is absolutely critical for potty training any child with Fragile X and that is this, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT WILL HAPPEN. I feel ALL CAPS strongly that you keeping your belief that it will happen alive is absolutely critical to success. 

Now, I know, it might not. There are people who will tell me it did not happen for their child no matter what they tried, no matter what expert they sought out and I am not saying they didn’t try hard enough. I’m not judging them in any way. I know they did their very best.  I know they wanted it for their child just as much as I wanted it for mine.

But here is the problem…as soon as you believe it won’t happen, as soon as you give up, it won’t happen. Ever. I’ve heard stories of people in their 20’s finally being potty-trained. Someone didn’t give up even after 20 something hellish years of changing dirty diapers. What if your child is that child? What if they don’t learn until they’re 16 or 26 but they learn? Won’t that be worth it?

Don’t give up! I know, I know, easy for me to say since I’m on the other side of the potty training tracks but I was told when Monkey was 2 that I shouldn’t even try until he was 9. I didn’t listen and I don’t want you to listen either. Start now. Believe it will happen.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned a rather, uh, “interesting” fixation Monkey has developed.  It all started last summer when we first started potty training seriously.  We went to camp and sometimes we were not near a bathroom when nature called.  I improvised and found Monkey a bush or “tree” to utilize.  This probably sounds strange to many people but it is part of being a little boy and going to camp.  While my parent’s camp isn’t precisely in the middle of nowhere, you can definitely see it from there.  Really, there is just no one to see and the logging companies that own vast tracts of land up there will never know.  So, it’s fine!

Anyway, a couple of times while we were there last summer Monkey utilized trees in emergency situations.  The problem is that Monkey doesn’t see any difference between peeing on a tree in the midst of thousands of trees and very few humans and peeing on, say, the neighbor’s hosta in the midst of thousands of humans and very few trees.  Oops.  Last fall and this summer he would periodically drop his pants in the back yard (you turn your back for ONE second!) and pee on the nearest plantlife.

Over the winter there was just no chance for him to indulge but he did indicate a willingness to experiment indoors.  We’ve always told him to “keep it in the water” when he’s peeing…sometimes he was tempted to try to get a look at what he was doing in such a way that he could have…not exactly lost an eye but…ew.  SO, being a very good generalizer he would sometimes approach OTHER bodies of water with that look in his eye (and, yes, sometimes his pants around his ankles.)  For example, the dogs’ water dish.  NOT acceptable! 

Winter turned to spring and, FINALLY, summer.  Monkey continued his covert trips to the backyard shrubs despite our polite (yeah, right!) requests that he stop.   We took a trip to camp once again and found ourselves in a situation where he  had to be taken on a sanctioned trip to a local bush (6 people, 1 bathroom…it happens!) 

Since we have been home he has not ONCE pee’d on the bushes (or the neighbors’ hosta.)  We’ve been vigilent and made sure that he is escorted straight to the bathroom when he needs to go.   That’s the good news.

The bad news is that he is sneaky…and determined…aaaand able to open the back door that leads onto our second story porch.   He can’t quite reach the bushes from that location, but he sure tried. 

I think I need to apologize to all the neighbors who may have had to witness the event.  *Sigh*  I see some timeouts in his future…which reminds me of another great camp story for tomorrow.

The scene:  A lovely Memorial Day morning, Umma and Duhdee are sitting at the dining room table planning the week’s menu.  Monkey walks by pulling down his pants.

Umma:  Do you need help buddy? (Gets up to help Monkey sit down on the toilet.)

Monkey:  Dee!

U:  Duhdee, Monkey wants you.

Duhdee:  Do you want a book?

M:  Yes.

D:  Do you want “Brown Bear?”

M:  No!  All DONE! Egg! (points at bum as he is pooping.)

(Umma returns to her seat and listens)

D:  You pooped!

M:  Egg.

D:  You want an egg ((He wants a leftover plastic Easter Egg from his basket.  Yes, he still has leftover candy from Easter…Umma the Easter Bunny goes a little nuts with the candy))?

M:  Yyyyyyessss!

D:  Ok, you can have an egg after you are done.

M:  Water!

D:  Yes, the poop is in the water.

M:  Splash!

D:  Yes, the it went splash in the water.

M:  Egg.  (Toilet is flushed.)

Fin.

Yesterday afternoon Duhdee sent me a message and asked me to call home he had something to tell me.

Monkey ran to go pee on the potty, Duhdee walked away because he is now able to go independently.  A few minutes later Duhdee realized Monkey was being very quiet and that he had not flushed the toilet.  Uh oh.  He rushed to check on him and found him sitting on the potty going POOP!  OMG!!!! 

He had finished going pee, put the seat down, turned around and sat himself on the toilet (no stool) and did his business just like a big boy.  Yayyyyyy!!!!!  Woot!  He was jackpotted with M&Ms for a treat and then Umma and Duhdee talked on the phone praising him for a job very well done. 

There is a light at the end of the potty training tunnel!!!!

We recently had dinner with Cupcake, her family and some other neighbors.  Monkey loves to go over there to visit and play with her toys so we were pretty sure the evening would go well, we just had no idea how well!

She tries very hard to say his name but is not quite able to do so yet, but it’s pretty cute to hear the attempts.  Often they’ll run around and not actually play any particular game, chase is exciting enough for Monkey and Cupcake seems to enjoy it too.  I think her mom and dad like the fact that Monkey is so much bigger b/c when she engages in rougher play it’s sort of like a fly bodyslamming an elephant, lol, and Monkey would never dream of playing in kind.  The kid is a pacifist through and through.

So the two of them ran around.  Monkey kept walking up to Cupcake’s dad and saying “Yo!” to him.  That’s how Duhdee always greets him so Monkey has started to do the same.  We always know when he’s outside b/c we’ll hear Monkey yelling “Yo!” at the window, lol.   Then we sat down to eat and he did really well, sometimes sitting at a table with people he doesn’t normally eat with will bother him but he did well.  He finished pretty quickly and headed into the living room to play.  Cupcake raced in to join him and they then played the cutest game of “peek a boo” I’ve ever seen.  Monkey kept looking at us to check in but he was totally engaged and participating.  It was awesome!

I had to take him home about 15 minutes before bedtime b/c we’d had a bit of a potty incident but he was still so happy and awake that I asked him if he wanted to go back.  He said yes.  I ran through the names of all of the people who were over there and I asked if he wanted to go see them again.  He would repeat their names and say “yes!”  So, back we went.  We stayed 30 minutes past bedtime then he told us “Home” and signed blanky, too cute!