We have the coolest teacher!

Monkey’s teacher is the bomb. She was the perfect person for this new pilot classroom! Not only does she have the required dual certifications, that was a given, but she has something else that’s not something you can be taught as readily…she is flexible. Of course she has her lesson plans and a schedule for how a day will go but she recognizes spontaneous learning opportunities and jumps on them eagerly. Very impressive in a teacher who’s leading her very first classroom, no?

This morning, Monkey wanted to bring a ball in the truck. I asked him if he wanted to show it to his best bud and he ignored me. That is generally as good as a “No,” so when we got to school I was surprised to see Monkey getting out of his seat clutching the ball. He told me “bounce” and said his friend’s name! OK!

I had to carry the ball into the classroom because the temptation to throw it during that transition would have been too much for him to resist. I wanted to encourage this social exchange but I did want to stop short of creating a circus. Like I said, I LIKE his teacher, lol.

We realized that his friend wasn’t yet there so I continued holding the ball while Monkey checked in to class. One of the other kids asked why I had a Buzz Lightyear ball and I explained that Buzz was Caleb’s favorite cartoon character. Any chance to teach them about my little guy is taken advantage of!

Just then, Monkey’s friend ((I really need to give him a blog name!)) arrived! Monkey’s teacher, to whom I had already explained what was going on, was so excited by all of this that she decided to reward Monkey and his friend with some impromptu ball play in the small, fenced yard they have attached to the class! I asked the teacher if she wanted to keep the ball for the day and she was thrilled.

When we left they were going out the door together and I heard her telling the other kids they would ALL get a chance to play with Monkey because he is “such a good sharer.”

So, yeah, I think I sort of ended up creating that circus after all but, fortunately, his teacher was willing to embrace her inner Ring Master. I love that in a teacher!

OH! Another reason I love his teacher? Yesterday, at the PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE, when Monkey was walking around with a sandwhich bag on his hand talking about picking up “poot,” she suggested we give him some fake poop for Christmas, LMAO. How could I not love this woman?

The PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE.

You know how sometimes I let my excitement or, more frequently, my anxiety get away from me and I build up these totally innocuous occasions into SITUATIONS and then I come back here and just say, “Meh”? This is totally not one of those times!

This morning we had our first ever official PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE! I did not cry and I did not hug the teacher, I was way too mature for that. Nope, not me. I simply GUSHED over how excited I was and how I couldn’t believe we got to attend a PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE and how cool it was that there was no attendance sheet! I’m such a smooth operator. Everyone was laughing at me but I so don’t care!

The teacher waited me out (she was just sitting and nodding and smiling at me with her BIG eyes on) have I ever mentioned how much I love her? Not nearly as much as my little Monkey but I think she’s just super.  Anyway…once my verbal barrage slowed to little squeals of excitement she shared her thoughts on Monkey and how he’s doing. Do you want to know how he’s doing? OF COURSE YOU DO! ((Wheee, I may still be on a bit of an adreneline rush!))

He’s doing awesome! They can’t believe what big changes they’ve seen in him since school started. He’s settled into the routine, he knows all the kids names and at circle time he’s the one whispering the answer behind his hand to the kid who can’t remember, lol. At lunch time, he knows everyone’s lunch boxes and distributes them appropriately. He was the first kid to master standing in a line (this is one of those skills he demonstrates at school and not anywhere else that I would LOVE to see him generalize!)

He has an infectious laugh and the kids are drawn to him. When he starts laughing everyone stops to see what he’s laughing at because it’s going to be good.He’s so sweet and gentle that the typical kids in the classroom have no reservations about interactingwith him. Some of the other kids with disabilities in the class are not quite so calm and collected so there’s a bit of anxiety and uncertainty over engaging in play with them. The staff is working on this and are very aware so I have a lot of hope that allthe kids will be more fully integrated and accepted by the end of the year but it really, really, really made my heart soar to hear that the other kids like Monkey and want to be around him and engage him on their own. Yay!

She had two pieces of work to show his current level of functioning. One involved tearing paper, gluing it to a picture and then coloring the rest of the picture and the other involved matching pre-cut shapes with shapes printed on the page and gluing them in the right spot. Would you be shocked to hear that Monkey doesn’t excel at either of these activities? He did fine, both were done appropriately but he needed a LOT of teacher support. Gluing and coloring and matching…sure he is physically capable of doing those things so theoretically he should be capable of doing those things on his own but here’s the question…why? What is the point? Monkey, like most boys with fragile x, need activities to have a meaning.

We tried to convey this by telling her that Monkey prefers real-life activities…cooking, cleaning, fixing things. Monkey himself was demonstrating his love of real life situations by walking around the classroom with a small baggie of “poot.” He was talking about walking his dogs and he was pretending to pick up dog poop using little (clean!) baggies he found in the truck that we use for just that purpose. I think I need to find a way to more clearly convey this message to her. I don’t care if he can glue blue triangles onto a piece of paper. He’s done it dozens of times, we know he can…let’s move along. Let’s find richer activities to build skills on.

So, to sum up, Monkey rocks. He’s doing great, learning new stuff and making friends and now I’ll shut up about the PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE. Mebbe. Hee.

GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT!

Guess what we’re going to do tomorrow for the first time EVER?

Duhdee and I get to go to our very first…PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE. Not an IEP meeting! An honest to Betsy PARENT FREAKING TEACHER CONFERENCE! There will be no attendance sheet, no progress report to add to his monstrous IEP file, no one is going to try to pull our placement out from under our feet, no one is going to talk about f*cking measurable annual goals…HECK, there won’t even be a TEAM.  It’s just us and the teacher!

We’re going to be normal parents. Except for the part where I CRY and hug the teacher because I’d totally given up on ever having a normal damned PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE.

I’m pretty fricking excited about it too…srsly. It don’t take much to excite me these days, does it?

Why I’ll never be a good enough parent.

My friend Holly commented recently that she’s noticed that it’s the wrong parents who are questioning their parenting skills. That got me thinking…

I’ll never be a good enough parent and I’ll sure as hell never be a great one and I don’t want to be. It’s this feeling of having to try 10 times as hard just to barely keep up that motivates me to do the things I do with Monkey. It’s what keeps me searching for new ways to help him, for new ways to make his life better, for new ways to make him more like the other kids.

If I were a good parent or, dog forbid, a great one, I could coast. I could sit here at my keyboard and drone on and on about all the amazing things I do. I could sit here and type endlessly about all the amazing things Monkey does and just ignore all the strange or annoying things he does that make him stand out as being not quite right…things that make him not quite fit in. I don’t want that…ever.

I’ve said before that we’re big picture people. We want Monkey to have it all, not just right now when he’s 6 and we can control what that means to a large extent. We want him to have it all when he’s 16, when he’s 26, when he’s 66. I don’t just want him to not be picked on, I want him to be a part of life.

I’m going to assume that each and everyone of you knew someone with a disability when you were growing up.  I’m also going to assume that you said nice things to this person in the halls, that you never picked on them or laughed at them or left them out of activities, OK? Now, can you tell me where that person is right now? Where they live? If anyone ever invites them to a movie or to just hang out?  What about one of your non-disabled friends from when you were growing up?  Right.

Until we get to the point when Monkey is 20-something, in college or living on his own and still hanging with his peeps on occasion (because, really, the boy had better be working hard at whatever he’s doing, it’s not all play-time my friends!) I’ll never consider myself to have done a good enough job. If beating myself up and constantly feeling like I should have done more or done things differently is what it will take, then that’s OK.

I can take it and the pay-off will be monumental.

His teacher is going to love me.

When my eldest niece started kindergarten, back in the day, I recall my sister-in-law telling me that parents send off their little, sweet 5 year old baybees and the school sends back little, eye-rolling 5 year old balls of attitude. I was prepared for this. What I wasn’t prepared for was the fact that it’s probably going to be my kid that corrupts all the others.

See, Monkey has been working hard this weekend on perfecting a new phrase… “Psht. Whatever!” I have no idea where he got that from.

Ahem.

Oops?

Had you noticed there’s been no talk about our Vantage Lite?

You may recall back in June I put up this post:

In a stunning turn of events…

Monkey has a freaking assistive tech/voice output device. Holy crappen!

We have been discussing this issue since…hmmm, let’s see…June, 2008! TWO YEARS!!! Several times we thought we were close only for it to continue to drag on but at today’s meeting the Assistive Tech trainer/evaluator had  a “loaner” device for him to use, until his device arrives in July, IN HER HAND. An actual, honest to goodness device…I was so shocked I didn’t even look at what it is, lol. She did say that it’s the older model of the VantageLite which is what he’ll be getting.

AND, AND, AND…my insurance company is paying for it.  Stunning.  Simply stunning.

Then there was radio silence again until August when I posted this gem:

It looks like we finally did it!

Monkey’s assistive tech device, the Vantage Lite, will be shipping early next week!! Our insurance company is paying for the device (about $7,300) and the school system is paying for the carrying case and the software (about $500). I am in shock. After 2 years, 2 insurance companies and countless forms…he’s got a voice.

A tip for any of you out there who need a device and haven’t yet been able to get it covered…it’s being covered as a prosthetic device, not durable medical equipment. Neat little trick, eh?

Did you think maybe we just totally forgot about the device or what? We did not. What happened was…nothing. There were 4 parties involved in this fiasco and, unfortunately, we had none of the power. We have spent the last 2 months making calls and being lied to. Repeatedly. Between the school, the device manufacturer and the company they use for financing we have been getting the runaround but good. We were told it was being shipped “in the next two days” or “early next week” every time we called. We were even told once that it had shipped but when we pushed for a tracking code that statement was retracted.

This is all just so much bullspit. I want to be really happy about all this, and I am getting there, but I’m still so angry that the school managed to nearly blow this entire deal with their lack of responsiveness and ultimately ended up costing themselves several extra thousand dollars because they gave my insurance company time to reconsider their percentage contribution.

But…Duhdee actually physically touched the device today so…bygones, right? Psht. Gimme a week or two.

Make sure this is in your next IEP.

Once you write it in make sure your child’s teacher follows through 😉

This is a quote from on of the many handouts we have from Tracy & Mouse’s presentations. We ♥ Tracy & Mouse.

  • Simultaneous, not sequential learning. This is counterintuitive for many educators and therapists. Remember to teach by showing the finished product first, rather than through a sequential, step by step process.

This has been in Monkey’s IEP for a long time and yesterday Monkey’s new teacher saw the power of this approach for our kids.

She had a tabletop activity planned. It was a connect-the-dots worksheet of a jack-o-lantern. She demonstrated the activity (connecting the dots and coloring it) and explained how a jack-o-lantern differs from a pumpkin. She took care to point out that a jack-o-lantern is orange, has a stem on top and light shining through it’s eyes, nose and mouth. She wrote her name at the bottom of the sheet then left it on the table with Monkey while he and the other kids did the activity.

This is the result.

Every one of the points she made about a jack-o-lantern are accounted for.  He focused in on the details she was trying to teach!

For years they’ve been getting a similar result with hand over hand assistance and the first time they actually follow the IEP…look what we have!  Shocked doesn’t even begin to describe their reaction…or ours!  I actually followed up with the teacher this morning just to be sure he really and truly did this on his own…he did!