So that whole Christmas thing that we hyped up and had such high hopes for? I told Duhdee on Sunday night it was the best Christmas ever and I meant it. That is high praise given how many amazing memories I have of Christmas growing up.
So, why haven’t I blogged? It’s not for lack of time or lack of material. I am conflicted. While we had an amazing time with thoughtful and understanding friends and family, I know that isn’t…by far…a universal experience. I know that there are a lot of you out there who love Christmas just as much as I do and who had high hopes and dreams for a lovely holiday that didn’t work out. This thing that we live with, Fragile X, is a beast. It doesn’t just reach out and break your heart once. No, it grabs on tight and squeezes the joy and happiness out of you at some of the most unexpected moments…and certainly at some of the least convenient moments.
At Christmas, when we surround ourselves with extended family, we’re confronted with all sorts of nasty surprises ranging from well-meaning family members (who should know better and shame on them if they’ve never taken the time to learn) to less-than-well-meaning family members (and shame on them for making a hard situation harder) to “typical” families who are neither ignorant nor malignant but their very existence in that nice, neat little world we dreamed of for ourselves (which we find ourselves locked out of) pains us. This time of year seems custom-built just to hurt and anger those of us with kids with special needs. I don’t want to add on to that.
For any of you who think you’re alone in having had a crappy holiday, you’re not. I’ve heard stories that make my blood boil. Stories that were not at all evident in the happy photos you may have seen. It’s human nature to want to edit our lives and put our shiniest, happiest face forward…we all do it at some time for whatever reason…but let me tell you you aren’t alone. There are some real assholes in our families that we can’t call out publicly without repurcussions. I’ve adjusted the comments setting, feel free to leave a comment and get it off your chest, you don’t have to give a name or an e-mail address 😉
Great blog. Even when I’m down, I like to read that others with the challenges of a special needs family member are having a great time because it reminds me of the hope for the next – the next day or outing or holiday. Thanks for writing. The FX community has been a great blessing to me, and I am so thankful that with each other we can be ourselves!
I try really hard for a balance. I tend towards featuring the super positive stuff because I want people to know that there is still a lot of joy in our lives and also because our life IS overwhelmingly positive.
I just wanted to take a step back this time because I know a lot of people were looking at the happy, happy pictures and posts on facebook in particular and feeling really let down about their own experiences. I wanted those people to know that there were a lot of ugly stories behind those happy, happy pictures too.
Great blog post. I was overall happy with the way the holiday went. Of course, there are fleeting moments of sadness, like when we can’t get a normal family picture, and the husband was the one who stormed out of the shot before we got a decent one. Sometimes it is just hard to be okay with things as they are. We had a hard time figuring out how we were going to get the kids out of the house so Santa could come and back in without huge transition meltdowns. Thank God for the unexpected visit by the inlaws. Also, I know my kids are hard to buy for, but come on, a CERAMIC popcorn bowl for one? And a WAFFLE IRON for the other? I know they meant well, but seriously? Thanks for the opportunity to vent!
Isn’t it funny how the it’s often the “little” things that cause the biggest head/heartache?
Uh…so we can safely assume the bowl and waffle iron (OMG, REALLY??) weren’t on the list for Santa? Wowser!
lol, nope, not on the list for Santa. I do admit that we do have some odball requests for Santa, but waffle irons and ceramic bowl were just an added bonus. lol. 🙂